FALLING IN LOVE…. IS BEAUTY A NECESSARY BENCHMARK?

We have often heard the catchphrase, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. Yet, everyone seems to interpret this cliché rather differently. The fact that someone or something is beautiful is only true when there is a critic to call it that. No artwork exemplified beauty without an onlooker, no song bought forward a melody without a listener, no poem created serenity or wrath without a reader. But, a person is not like a poem, painting or a song. He/She is capable of emotion and happiness. Whenever, someone spots an attractive opposite sex, their physical attributes become the subject of criticism and judgement. But, what is the purpose of making such judgements about someone? The answer is simple; it is for the purpose of mating and procreation. Thus, whenever an attractive woman or a man is standing in front of you, your mind subconsciously judges the beauty. And this deep rooted infatuation ultimately leads us to the delusion called “love”.

The most important question that we should ask ourselves is, “What is love”. I believe, it is the absence of hate. But, unfortunately, that’s not the way we see it. Apart from the existing emotions of love and hate, we subconsciously have a new emotion – indifference. We limit our love to our parents, friends and all those who help us in our lives. We hate the ones who are against us. But what do we feel when we meet strangers? We certainly don’t feel love. Instead we feel the indifference, that limits our vision only to judge the person’s outer shell rather than having an insight into the core of the person. Our mind readily sympathizes with the stranger, but, doesn’t reflect empathy. In true love, one can totally empathize and feel the pain of other person in real, just like how a mother doesn’t sympathize with her child’s hunger but empathizes with it. But can we ever be in such a high state of mind sharing love for everything around us?

The answer to the above question still remains in the shadows of our thoughts. My assertion is that human mind is egoistic in nature. The moment we say hello to a stranger, our mind subconsciously takes sides. It differentiates and discriminates without your consent. Discrimination is like a PH test. If stranger has appealing looks, the results are positive and vice-versa. It is because we never fully open the doors of our heart so easily to an acquaintance simply because we think of him/her as a stranger who means nothing in our lives. Thus, we get attracted sexually. Most people think that sex is the most valued thing in a relationship and it is the benchmark of deeply connecting with someone. I partly agree with the ideology, but, they shouldn’t confuse infatuation with love. Being in love is the most mature and realistic thing you do in your life. It energizes your life, fills you with positivity and creates magnanimity which makes every moment beautiful. The body heals and the heart is happy. This feeling can be achieved when we emotionally connect with someone, regardless of his/her beauty. We need to be willing to allow ourselves to look for and find that which is beautiful and worthwhile in everyone, including ourselves. And somehow let them know that falling in love doesnot mean entering into a world of illusion and fantasy. It means waking up from our darkened dreams to finally see the beauty which surrounds us.

There’s one fact, I would like to share. An individual cannot feel any emotions by just admiring one’s appearance. He cannot make love to a personality. As much as the idea is desired, physical affection cannot be given to a thought, an idea or a character. It is necessary that a body is present. Admiration of an individual is never so heart warming as when there is a face for that individual, by which emotions and ideas can be expressed. Moreover, one needs to explore the analytical expression of a deep thought in a person’s mind, which allows us a greater admiration of the deep thought itself. Nothing can express sadness greater than a story that one wishes to tell accompanied with tears.

I suppose that beauty has an important role in laying the foundation of an emotional connection. Whether we find one’s look to be beautiful or not, the existence of such a beauty is what matters the most. For example, if someone finds someone unattractive or ugly, but, the body exhibits a personality, an opinion, an ideal, a character, these things alone makes it enough to find the body attractive. The same can be said of a body we initially find attractive, but when we hear a rather thoughtless mind speaking, it eventually becomes unattractive for us.

To end this dissertation, I would like to vindicate that in order to fall in love with someone one should definitely root out the feelings of hatred and indifference right from the bottom of our heart. For love be the beauty that defines us and one can observe the astuteness of this beauty not when he’s on the seeker’s end of love, but when he’s on the giver’s end.
With this, I conclude. I can only hope that I have enlightened some minds.